Margret

Post pertaining to this week's weekly letter:

What would you have done if you were Margret’s parents? 
Keep trying to talk to her, or seek help... do research on possibilities of her illness (PTSD)
What would you have done if you were her doctor? 
Obviously I don't know for sure because I don't have any medical knowledge, but I would probably get her to also see s psychologist if I believed it was a mental problem, not merely a physical one.
What would you have done if you were her sister/ brother? 
Never give up on her. Siblings have a special and connection but they never give up on each other. Siblings never let the other get in any harm's way. We're always there for each other.
How do you think Margret felt with her parent’s choice of putting her in an institution?Evidently she wasn't thinking right, but if she recovered then I believe she would have felt sad that her family didn't keep fighting for her. However, she wouldn't have known the whole story.
Would you rather live in an institution and be taken care of or live at home and have to take care of yourself?With a condition like PTSD, I would want to have help.

For What Reason do You Live? (Letter Response)

I live for a lot of reasons. I'm not really sure most of the time what exactly I'm living for, but I think reminding myself now and then actually helps me live.

I live for myself, first of all. Even though that may sound incredibly selfish and egotistical, what's the point of living for other people? I can't live a life in which I'm trying to please others all the time. I'm such a competitive person that I tend to push myself until I realize I can't be pushed anymore. This competitiveness, while it may be seen as negative or weird, drives me to do my best wherever I go. I hate being mediocre at things, and this competition pushes me and gives me a reason to live. 

I live so I can enjoy life. Everything I love gives me a reason to live. Volleyball, the beach, spending time with family, having fun with friends, art, the beauty of nature, learning...all these things remind me everyday of why I'm living. 

I live for some purpose too. I live to make some kind of impact on the world, however small. Helping others, supporting friends and family, fighting for what's right--those are things I should keep doing to really live. Obviously I'm not done with living yet, though, and I still have many things I want to do before I stop living. 

And why would I not want to live? 

Life is awesome! Most of the time. We just don't see it.

Savory Crepes! (Blog Post #5)

Quick recipe for some amazingggg crepes filled with parmesan cheese, kale, ham, roast beef and onions, and topped with sprinkled cheese and sliced avocado.

Actual Crepe:

2 tablespoons butter, melted but you gotta make sure it's cooled down, otherwise it'll cook the egg in your batter

1 cup flour

2 eggs

1/2 cup milk

1/2-1 cup water (depending on how thick you want it...I usually do 3/4 cup water)

a pinch of salt

some pinches of sugar (or more, depending on how sweet you want it. I usually do 2 pinches)

Mix all the wet stuff first (butter, eggs, milk, water), then add the dry stuff (flour, salt, sugar) and mix it until it's smooth. Put it in the fridge until you're done with the filling.

Filling: {you can literally do whatever filling you want, this is just one that my mom and I put together one night when we were super hungry}

chopped spinach

chopped red onions

chopped deli meat (roast beef, ham, etc)

chopped cheese (we used string cheese)

In a pan, put some olive oil in, and then add in the onions. Cook this until it starts to brown, then add the meat. Stir a little, and then add the spinach. Finally, add in the chopped cheese and stir until it melts. It looks gross but I promise it's super tasty!

Putting It All Together:

Using a large spoon, place the batter in a separate pan or a specially made crepe pan. Quickly move the pan in the air so that the batter fills up the whole pan without any holes.

WAIT! until it browns and gets crispy on the edges, and then flip it over. 

This is when you quickly add some of the filling you made into the center of the crepe. Then you wait until the other side starts to brown (peek at the edges using a spatula). 

When you see that it's done on both sides, fold the crepe around the filling. Slide the finished crepe onto a clean plate. To top it off, add some shredded cheese and sliced avocado. 

IT'S REALLY GOOD! And fun to make with friends or family :) 

Phan Fam Road Trip Day 1 (Blog Post #3)

My family and I are taking a Road Trip this week up north. We've gone to visit UCSB, Morro Bay, San Luis Obispo, Hearst Castle, Elephant Seal Beach in San Simeon, and an overpriced French restaurant in Montery. Here's a short clip I made for Day 1 (yesterday). We're having a lot of fun and it's so nice to visit places outside our hometown. I'm also getting to catch up on sleep (very long car rides!) and it's refreshing to spend a lot of time with family, and to take a break from everything else. We are also very short on internet, so the whole family is off the screen and talking to each other! We are looking forward to the rest of the trip, and Day 2 Video will be up soon :)

Rant: Difficulty of Talking to Authorities (Blog Post #2)

I really hate how authority tends to stand in the way of speaking up for what’s right. It happens all the time. With coaches, parents, teachers…They make it nearly impossible for me to say what I really think without suffering some kind of consequence. If there’s a problem with the way the coaches are running the line up, I can’t tell them without fearing loss of my own playing time. If they’re being unfair to another player for an invalid reason, I’m scared to talk to them about it. They always believe that their decision is right. Any challenge to their authority upsets them, and they take it out on the rest of the team. Some teachers are open to discussion about topics such as grades. Others get angry when I bring up a question about an error in Powerschool. Some teachers are so sure that they are right at all times. They make me hesitant to ask them anything regarding grades, even though I know that THEY made the mistake. Parents are easier to talk to. I can say whatever is on my mind, but facing disappointment from them is the worst feeling in the world. Anger is less harsh, but that reaction is also hard to face. “Authority figures” just tend to believe that they’re right constantly…many aren’t open to suggestions or any challenge to their authority. 

But then there those who are there for you. Those few that allow you to open up to them. I appreciate these people in my life who accept and listen to suggestions that I have. I just wish it was easier to talk to others the way I can talk to those who are welcoming. 

Like Oxygen (Blog Post #1)

For the past three days, my team and I have been in Chicago for a Junior National Qualifier tournament. This tournament determines whether we will travel to Louisiana for Junior Olympics later this summer. As a team we have had to deal with intense emotions throughout this whole season.  Whether it be from decisions made by our coaches, or injuries from playing, we have had to persevere through it all in order to get to where we are today.  Leading up to this three-day tournament we have had some rough patches with adjusting to new coaching styles and new teammates which we didn't have last year.  In order to do that we have had to work harder than ever and keep our energy up to compete in the highest level of volleyball that we can.  My team and I have been through countless injuries this year so far, from sprained ankles to concussions. I think these setbacks have pushed us to work even harder to succeed.

For this tournament, we've won all our games in the first two days, but our last day tomorrow will determine if we get a bid to JO's. I think we're all excited but also slightly nervous with the new lineups...I think we all just have to persevere and go all out. We got the bid last year when we won in Kansas City, and that weekend, we just went crazy with our energy at a constant high. Tomorrow, we need to make sure that we have a solid, good warm up because the other team will have already played (we're getting a buy, which means we get to skip a game). Once we start playing, we have to keep pushing ourselves. We can not give up if they get a couple of points. We have to want to win as bad as we need oxygen. We can't get comfortable. We got to play to win.

Happiness

3 things that make me happy:
volleyball
baking
friends/family

3 things that make me unhappy:
stress from school
litter
lack of sleep

I think that to be happier, I need to have better time management with schoolwork so I can have more time to spend with friends and family, and also to sleep more. I can keep speaking up for what is right (telling people to pick up their trash at lunch!!) I also should keep focusing on the positive things in life as well as all the things I'm fortunate to have in my life. Being grateful keeps me happy :)

Friendship Circle

Today I visited Friendship Circle during lunch. At first I was kind of nervous, because I didn't really know anyone there. I sat down with my other friend and started talking to this girl named Tiffany. She was extremely bright and friendly, and I held conversation with her easily. I found out that she's great at math, but not so great in English. She loves Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift, but she only likes to sing Taylor Swift songs. She's done many types of dance, but her favorite is ballet. Sitting next to Tiffany was a tall, light haired boy named Evan. Although he didn't talk very much, he still seemed very sweet and kind.

I was fortunate enough to witness Tiffany asking Evan to the Sadie's dance. She was prompted by another friend of mine, Holly. Tiffany was visibly nervous at first and she started to stutter, but she asked Evan about the dance. After confirming with her that he could make it, they both tentatively started to hold hands. Probably the sweetest and cutest thing I've seen in a long time.

I couldn't stop smiling after I left for my 5th period. It was such a fun experience, and I think I will definitely come back next week!

Loss

Last year in April, my club volleyball team and I played in a Junior Olympic Qualifier in LA. We had been doing so well the first two days, winning nearly every match. We held our high seed throughout the tournament. On the third and final day, we were up against Club H. We were fortunate to have earned a "buy", so our first game was at 9:00 instead of the usual 8:00. Club H didn't have this "buy", so they had already played a match before us. Our team was excited, but I don't think we prepared well enough. We did our usual warm up, but I don't think it was our best. Going into the game, I focused on one goal: to win and advance onto the semi's. However, as the match went on, I realized that our team was tired and didn't have as much fight as usual. We ended up losing the game, and I was upset for many reasons....The setter on the other team had been so irritating and loud, the other team wasn't better than us, we had worked so hard for this moment, and we had failed. In response, I headed straight towards the bathroom after our team meeting, locked myself in a stall, and started sobbing uncontrollably. We had been so close to qualifying for JO's, and we had lost. It took me a while, but I finally left the stall and wiped my red and swollen eyes with some paper towels. I headed back out to the court, ready to ref the next match.

Humans and Nature

Assignment: Define the relationship between humans and nature.

I believe that humans tend to under-appreciate nature. Most of us are so occupied with our own busy lives that we don't have the time to enjoy the beauty of nature and to respect all the beaches, trees, animals, and plants that exist all around us. I believe most people are ignorant and don't even think twice about leaving trash around school or on the beach. I think this is because while we are able to hurt nature, nature can't hurt us back to remind us of the pain we've caused it. It's all up to us humans to decide to leave nature alone and to even help it prosper. We need to remind each other to pick up our trash, or to leave the campsite in better condition than when when we arrived. It doesn't take too much effort to preserve the nature around us. And if we don't, the world of technology, oil-spills, and radiation will take over and leave us like robots with no compassion for nature around us.

Song Lesson

In January, I will sing a song to my English class. Additionally, I will analyze the song's relation to a piece of literature read in the past few months of school. I'm choosing to sing the song "Laughing With" by Regina Spektor; the book I will be comparing it to is "Reason for Hope" by Jane Goodall, which was my "outside reading book". 

I chose this song because I have been listening to it frequently for the past few years, and I have never gotten tired of it. I love the melody and Regina's voice is absolutely amazing. This song also brings back many memories of beach volleyball camp during the summers of middle school. When it clicked in my brain that the lyrics related very much to the thematic concepts of "Reason for Hope", I became a teeny bit more excited to sing. I found "Reason for Hope" to be a very intriguing book. Although I couldn't directly relate to Goodall, it was definitely an interesting perspective. 

I'm planning to teach the class with a Powerpoint presentation. I know it's not the most creative method, but I have been doing presentations for a while and that's what I feel most comfortable with. I'll have slides analyzing the lyrics of the song as well as some explaining the literary elements of the book. I'll also have some comparing and contrasting both the song and the book. I will possibly do a mini "quiz" at the end of the powerpoint, and I might bring candy as prizes!

I'm honestly not as nervous for the singing as I am with the analysis of the book and song. I already know I'm horrific at singing, so I have come to accept that I will be awful. I already know that I'll hit all the wrong notes, not sing to the rhythm, and sing in the wrong key. But it's okay with me because I understand that everyone has their own personal strengths...singing is just not mine. I'll just try to do my best and hopefully my peer graders will be nice! :)

A Letter of Gratitude

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." -John Milton

So many different people have impacted my life and have helped me become who I am today. I think the two most influential people in my life are my mom and dad. Though it may not always seem like it, they always try to do what's best for me to keep my safe, and they give me all the chances for me to succeed. They constantly support my decisions to do my very best. Through experience, they warn me about things that I'm not otherwise able to see, such as potentially back-stabbing friends. My mom always pushes me to be the best person I can be. She reminds me to stay clean, neat, and organized, and that I always need to try new things and explore all the other aspects of life. She teaches me how to solve a problem, through finding a solution instead of freaking out. My mom also helps me to become a more compassionate person, caring for others and trying to understand other people. Both my dad and mom have amazing morals, and I'm so grateful that they raised me with those ideas, such as disgust in drugs and alcoholism or the amazing feeling of doing things for others. Sometimes I think I take the little things for granted, but thinking about it makes me realize how lucky I am not to be brought up by parents with low morality. I'm also so thankful for my two younger brothers. Without them, I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone my age at home. Additionally, their presence over the years has taught me how to share, how to use my brain to get what I want, how to not rely and trust someone too much, and also the importance of leadership. 

Numerous coaches of mine for volleyball and beach volleyball have helped me become a better athlete regarding skill and attitude. They have helped teach me how to be a respectful leader and how to stay positive during tough situations. Even coaches that were not good helped me realize that there will always be politics involved with life, and that I have to work extra hard to make-up for my height. I've also learned over the years that although some people will never admit that they do this, there is always a broad stereotype towards any race. Unfortunately, many times the stereotypes are negative and can hurt you. However, this has strengthened me as a person. I've learned how to shut down negative stereotypes by simply proving the people wrong. All my teachers at school have also influenced me to become the person I am today. They have all educated me and increased my knowledge of the world, and there are several that really pushed me to become a better person as well. I've learned leadership skills, how to get along with others, and how to be respectful. I'm so thankful that I've had teachers that really care about me. 

I'm also so grateful for my friends! They are always there for me when I need someone to talk to, and I have so much fun spending time with them. I'm glad I have a variety of friends with different hobbies and personalities, because they also influence me to become a more well-rounded person. My friends in band, orchestra, or that play an instrument help me appreciate all the music that I hear everyday. I'm thankful for my friends who are extremely intelligent yet also selfless in that they find the time to help me with homework assignments and questions I have regarding schoolwork. My friends in volleyball are amazing because I can talk to them about something we love and have in common. They also help improve my attitude towards the sport when I'm not feeling my best. I'm thankful for my friends in art or photography as well. Communicating with them and spending time with them benefits me because I become more aware and grateful for all kinds of art, and they help me improve myself with photography skills as well. 

I am thankful for all my friends and all the people around me who are just amazing people. The people I know who are kind, compassionate, selfless, positive, and who have great morals all influence me greatly in improving myself in those areas. Words can not express how appreciative I am for them being a part of my life.

There are so many people in my life that I couldn't imagine my life without. Every single person I encounter influences me in some way, and whether it's for good or for bad, I'm grateful for all the people who have helped me become a better person. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving with their family! ❤, Audrey

About Me

Hello! My name is Audrey Phan. Here are some things about me:

❀ Most of my close friends like to call me Audge. I guess it just takes a lot less effort because the extra syllable was too difficult :)

❀ I love playing competitive club indoor and beach volleyball. It's so much fun playing with my teammates and friends. I've been playing indoor for 5 years, and beach for 2. Currently I'm on a club team nearby for indoor as well as one for beach volleyball. I qualified for JO's for both last year, and my goal for this year is to qualify again and place higher than last year!

❀ I also really enjoy photography. I like to take pictures of nature, friends, family, sporting events, or food. My uncle is a professional photographer and started teaching me in 5th grade, when I got a camera for my birthday. I still love taking pictures whenever I can!

❀ I've been in Girl Scouts since Kindergarten and I still love every part of it. I really like helping out the community while also having fun with my friends. I've completed my Bronze and Silver Awards and I'm now working to start my Gold Award, which I'm very excited about.

❀ I really like baking...if I have enough time. I especially enjoy making macarons.

❀ However, sometimes I feel guilty so I also like to try healthy snacks. I love making açai bowls and green smoothies.

❀ Although I'm not very good, I try playing piano in my spare time. It's just a fun way to take my mind off of school.

❀ Favorite Place: the beach :)

❀ Favorite Books: the Harry Potter series! I guarantee I have read the books over 20 times, although I skip the Prime Minister section every time in Half-Blood Prince. I also love books from my childhood such as Ida B, So B. It, and The Giver.

❀ Favorite TV Shows (I know I need the sleep, but after 8 consecutive hours of homework, I like to reward myself with one episode): The Fosters, Switched at Birth, Covert Affairs (it's actually about the CIA, not love), Rookie Blue, Castle, Psych, Red Band Society, and Orange is the New Black.

❀ Favorite Class: AP European History. Even though it's very time consuming and requires a lot of dedication, I find it really interesting and fun to learn about.

❀ Favorite Music: One Republic, Maroon 5, The Script, Coldplay, Jack Johnson, Ingrid Michaelson, Regina Spektor, Jason Mraz, Train, Plain White T's, James Blunt, and Stromae.

❀ I'm thankful everyday that I have amazing friends and family who support me with everything I do. They are always there for me, which I greatly appreciate.

I hope that this blog will be a way for me to express myself and my thoughts. I'm looking forward to posting about some of the things above. Thanks for reading! ❤, Audrey

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